We live in a world of constant contact—a place that’s losing sight of
the importance of being alone. Offices are abandoning cubicles in favor
of shared desks and wide-open common spaces, and rather than sitting at
their desks working independently, school children are placed in
groups. It seems that a never-ending “ping” has become our culture’s
omnipresent background noise, instantly informing us of every text,
tweet, and notification. Even something as mundane as cooking dinner has
become worthy of social sharing.
One result of all this social
connection is that many of us rarely have any time alone. While we’re
told that this connectivity is a good thing and that being around other
people is necessary for a fulfilled life, you can certainly have too
much of a good thing.
“All men’s misfortunes spring from their hatred of being alone.” – Jean de la Bruyere
A
study of 600 computer programmers at 92 companies found that while
productivity levels were relatively stable within each company, they
varied greatly from one company to the next. The more productive
companies had one thing in common: they ditched the ultra-hip open
office in favor of private workspaces that granted freedom from
interruptions. Of the top performers, 62 percent said they had adequate
privacy at work, while only 19% of the worst performers shared that
opinion. And, among the low performers, 76 percent said they were often
unnecessarily interrupted.
Solitude isn’t just a professional
plus; it’s also good for your mental and emotional well-being. To get
the most out of life, you must learn to enjoy spending time alone. The
benefits of solitude are too numerous to catalog, but here are some of
the best.
1. You recuperate and recharge.
All
of us—even the hopeless extroverts among us—need time to recuperate and
recharge. There’s nothing like spending time alone to make this happen.
The peace, quiet, and mental solitude you experience when you’re by
yourself are essential to recovering from the stresses of daily living.
2. You can do what you want.
As
fun as it is to spend time with other people, it inevitably leads to
compromise. You’re constantly modifying your ideas to accommodate other
people’s desires and opinions. Being alone frees you up to do exactly
what you want when you want. You can throw on whatever you feel like
wearing, eat what you feel like eating, and work on projects that are
meaningful to you.
3. You learn to trust yourself.
Freedom
is more than doing what you want; it’s the ability to trust your gut
and to think clearly, without any pressure or outside influence. Being
alone helps you form a clear understanding of who you are, what you
know, and what’s right for you. It teaches you to trust yourself. When
around others, even when you don’t realize it, you monitor people’s
reactions in order to gauge the appropriateness of your own feelings and
actions. When you’re alone, it’s all on you. You develop your own ideas
and opinions, without having them watered down by what anyone else
thinks. Once you learn to enjoy being alone, you’ll discover what you’re
truly capable of, without the constraints of other people’s thinking.
4. It increases your emotional intelligence.
Emotional
intelligence (EQ) is your ability to recognize and understand emotions
in yourself and others and your ability to use this awareness to manage
your behavior and relationships.
TalentSmart has
tested more than a million people and found that 90% of top performers
are high in EQ. Self-awareness is the foundation of emotional
intelligence, and you can’t increase your EQ without it. Since
self-awareness requires understanding your emotions and how you react to
various people and situations, this necessitates careful
self-reflection, and self-reflection happens best when you’re alone.
5. It boosts your self-esteem.
Enjoying
your own company is a huge confidence booster. If you’re bored and
restless when you’re by yourself, it’s easy to start thinking that
you’re boring
or that you need other people around to enjoy yourself. Learning to
enjoy time alone boosts your self-esteem by confirming that you are
enough.
6. You appreciate other people more.
Absence
really does make the heart grow fonder. Time alone lets you see people
in a whole new light, and it helps you to develop a renewed sense of
gratitude for who they are and what they do.
7. You get more done.
It’s
said that “more hands make light work,” and while that might be true
when it comes to raking leaves, it’s a completely different story with
cognitive tasks. Even the effectiveness of brainstorming is more myth
than reality. Researchers from Texas A&M found that group
brainstorming hinders productivity due to “cognitive fixation.”
Cognitive fixation is the tendency for people working in groups to get
stuck on other people’s ideas, reducing their ability to come up with
anything new, and the bigger the group, the more fixated everyone
becomes. Spending time alone not only eliminates distractions but also
ensures that you don’t have trouble with “too many cooks.”
Bringing it all together
Everyone benefits from solitude. Take the opportunity this week to spend some time alone.
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